TASTE MAKES WAIST

          MIDDLE AGE IS WHEN THE NARROW WAIST AND THE BROAD MIND 
          CHANGE PLACES.

          Just tea for breakfast, no lunch for me,
          For dinner, a grapefruit -- no more!
          An exercise regimen begins right now,
          I'll do sit-ups by the score.

          I'll throw out the cookies,
          Give away the cake,
          And lock the pantry up tight.
          I've got the will power to lose five pounds
          If I can lose it by tonight!
                                        by Eileen Hession



                       10  2-LETTER WORDS

          IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME !



                        SUPERMARKET PSALM
                         by Bettie Jenkins

      The Diet Plan is my guide. I shall not ever be fat.

      They maketh me to walk down the isle of the supermarket, they 
      steer me beside the fruit and fresh vegetable bins.

      Good food restoreth my health. They teach me to steer my 
      shopping cart to the isle of diet soda for my own good.

      Yea, though I walk through the isle of potatoe chips and 
      Little Debbies, I will fear no pounds for my shopping list, 
      it comfort me.

      I will preparest a table before me that will shock my envious 
      friends. Thou annointest my head with Tuna Oil, my tomato 
      juice runneth over.

      Surely cracking the advertisers code, making a shopping list 
      and eating before shopping shall help me all the days of my 
      life and I will dwell in a thin body forever.



                    MY SCALES AND I  by Viola Bonam

      MY SCALES AND I STOOD FACE TO FACE;
      I SWORE THEY LIED TO ME.
      THEY MARKED MY WEIGHT AND SEEMED TO SMIRK
      IN FIENDISH, GHOULISH GLEE.
      I SHIFTED WEIGHT FROM LEFT TO RIGHT;
      I TWISTED, JUMPED AND ROCKED.
      MY SCALES MAINTAINED THAT AWFUL SUM;
      THEY LAUGHED AT ME AND MOCKED.
      I DONNED MY DRESS, PUT ON MY SHOES;
      NO NEED TO FEEL SO PAINED.
      I'D GO WEIGHT AT MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE;
      HER SCALES WERE BETTER TRAINED!



                    DIETER'S PRAYER

     Dear Lord, as I sit down I sigh, and look longing at the pie
     Please give me strength and fortitude, guide my hand to the 
     low-cal food.
     Make the ham and raisin sauce, look to me like spanish moss.
     Let those who plan a fattening dinner excuse my absence 'till 
     I'm thinner.
     And should I happen to attend, please do not let them try to 
     bend
     My shakey will power with the pleas, that the chocolate cake 
     was made for me.
     Let me stand firm for once with pride, remembering well that 
     once inside
     That devils food will be just that, another devilish pound of 
     fat.
     Let me, when faced with someone jealous, who starts on me 
     with overzealous
     Threats that if I lose much weight, a wrinkled face will be 
     my fate.
     Reply with the slyness of a fox, as I pass her back her Bon-
     Bon box.
     Plastic surgery can fix all that, but they can't beautify my 
     fat.
     For danishes, pie, candy and cake will never a size 12 figure 
     make.
     And should I starve when I've reached my goad, let them bury 
     me
     IN A FENCE-POST HOLE.
     And St. Peter will say...as he lets me in,
     "GOOD GRIEF, MY DEAR, YOU ARE REALLY THIN !"


                I AIN'T

          I AIN'T WHAT I OUGHTA BE
          I AIN'T WHAT I WANNA BE
          I AIN'T WHAT I'M GONNA BE
          BUT THANK THE LORD...
          I AIN'T WHAT I WAS !